Additionally, their success may come from being able to easily manage conflict when difficulties arise; The truth is, they are more emotionally intelligent than most.
While we have to acknowledge that we are all different personalities with different paths, pursuing different goals, one thing remains constant: The most successful people think differently.
Their daily thoughts help influence their actions, words, decisions, and ultimate goals. Consider some of the inner dialogues of the most successful people:
“I need to ask for help.”
There is a misconception that successful people don’t ask for or seek help or advice from others, especially their employees. After all, they’re already successful, so they don’t really need the help, right? On the contrary, research has linked people who ask for advice to be perceived as more competent than they are, which is a huge allure if you’re a leader of people.
The most effective leaders I’ve studied and coached are emotionally present and ask for help when they need it. By being genuine, polite and emotionally honest – and allowing team members to be equals – teams connect and collaborate better. This is a recipe for good business results.
“I have to focus on smaller goals to get to that one big goal.”
Successful people focus on achieving those small goals in order to achieve their bigger audacious goals. To achieve your own big goal this year and avoid becoming overwhelmed or discouraged in the process, do what they do: Focus on knocking it down one small chunk at a time, and then the next. Go ahead on one. As you break the big goal into smaller parts, each of those parts should have its own time limit.
For example, if your big goal is one that will take several months or even a whole year to reach, take action now by setting realistic target dates for reaching your objectives in the immediate future. In other words, there is something you can do this week to start some sort of action for next week or next month. If the biggest goal is to save money, make a budget this week for next week. If losing weight, develop a plan to commit to losing two pounds in the next week.
“If I don’t face my fears head-on, things will only get worse.”
President Franklin D. Roosevelt famously said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” It’s the fear that paralyzes you before making that all-important phone call, walking on stage for the first time at a keynote address, or introducing yourself to the girl of your dreams. Fear kicks in and you turn to Jell-O.
But when you remove it, you realize you’re not in danger and things actually get a lot better. Solution? Training your brain to accept that there is no danger will help you turn off the fear response. You will soon realize that it is the fear of fear that you are afraid of, nothing else. And eventually it will become easier to manage.
“Why am I getting this angry?”
Emotional intelligence is a strength of many successful people. They realize that the cause of their anger may be much deeper than what they are experiencing on the surface. They examine, process, take a deep dive, and ask themselves, “What’s really beneath my anger?” By stepping back and looking at the root cause, you’ll soon realize that your anger is actually a reaction to whatever is bothering you, usually something unresolved at the bottom of your pile – feelings of anxiety, worry, fear of failure, etc. .
These are the primary emotions you need to deal with as you consider how to make payroll when the cash isn’t flowing in. Anger is always the trigger and a secondary emotion. So what’s really bothering you? Be honest with yourself after some processing. Then tell yourself with brutal honesty, “The real reason I’m angry is…”
“To whom am I accountable here?”
Accountability is often demanded of others but rarely of oneself. This is why accountability is overused and misinterpreted. Instead, it’s being responsible, taking ownership of something (good or bad) and communicating it honestly with transparency.
“How can I better understand this person?”
One of the best ways to strengthen relationships at work is through more communication, especially with your ear. Successful people intentionally spend more time with their coworkers and clients to learn more about them – their personal lives, their interests, their goals. It takes the skillful art and science of active listening. You do this by listening carefully, taking the other person’s needs into account. You listen to the other person’s story, searching the conversation for depth, meaning, and understanding.
Upside down for you? You may identify opportunities for deeper connections, business or personal discovery involving mutual interests, and, if you are a manager, opportunities for your employees to contribute more to other projects.
“I need to be ready to hear feedback on this issue.”
Many successful people allow themselves to be heard, grow, and develop self-awareness – out of fear of what they will hear. When you’ve been operating in the ego system for so long, it’s extremely difficult to be aware of others’ thoughts, ideas, and constructive feedback. On the other hand, people who actively listen to different points of view tend to be open, polite, and responsive. They seek out facts to respond appropriately to meet the needs of others.
“I have to learn this so that I can better myself.”
Successful people are lifelong learners; They never stop learning, and never assume they know everything. So they show interest in building the knowledge base of others. This is what makes the best conversation starters – learning what other people do, how they do it, why they do it. People love to talk about themselves, and successful people are smart enough to let them! They are the type of people who show up with a polite expression of “I want to learn from you”.